Well folks this NCAA tourney has been one for the ages. It began with one of the best opening days in tourney history. It showcased what we in the biz call “heaters” AKA close games. I haven’t seen this many heaters since my mother was baking Christmas cookies in the oven back in 2001. Let us just say Jeff put on a few pounds of fat over Christmas break that year. This is also why I believe I wasn’t offered a division 1 football scholarship. That and I didn’t weigh enough, and may or may not have been fast enough. This is all beside the point, back to the topic at hand. March Madness!!!!
Up to the Xavier vs. Kansas State game I had seen every down to the wire finish in every game that has been on, thanks to direct tv and there March Madness package, where I can watch up to 4 games at a time or just one of my choice. This might be the single greatest invention ever since Tim Tebow (come on you knew that was coming.) Now back to last night. I had a few people over to watch the Butler game, which was another heater. After the game was over my friends left and it was just me and the ole ball and chain AKA my girlfriend Brittany. We stayed up and watched the next set of games till the Xavier and Kansas State game went to halftime. Brittany then suggested we should probably go to bed because it was getting late. So I blame her for the fact that I missed probably one of the best tourney games in the past decade (ok I may or may not have been just as tired as her, but it still sounds better blaming it on someone else.) I woke up this morning to a text from my buddy Joel that read, “Gus Johnson is going nuts!!!” Gus Johnson did the play by play for that game. At that point right there I went into complete Jimmy Fallon mode from the movie “Fever Pitch” where Fallon is a die hard Red Sox fan and has season tickets and hasn’t missed a game in years. He decides one night to go to an event with his girlfriend and missed one of the greatest Yankees vs. Red Sox games ever. This feeling can be compared to missing out on a great life experience, for women we could compare it to child birth or your wedding day. Now do you see where we are coming from ladies? I arrived to work and checked everyone’s facebook and twitter updates. This didn’t help me feel any better. All I saw were things like “wow what a game!” Or “man they were trading 3 point shots left and right” and “man I can’t believe Jordan Crawford hit that shot in OT.” Needless to say, I felt empty inside.
As my day went on I traded texts and emails from friends who were talking about the game. I even had people on my facebook talking about it. Thanks guys and gals, I appreciate it (insert sarcasm here.)It came to the point of my day where I asked myself, do I go online and watch these highlights? Seeing how I wasn’t working anyway I said ok. I logged on and watched them, and watched both teams trade 3 point shot after 3 point shot. It looked like a old school heavyweight boxing match. Listening to Gus Johnson morph into complete army drill Sgt. Instructor mode did not make me any happier. If you don't know anything about Gus Johnson please check out this youtube video, and if your a male and your dick doesn't get hard from listening to it, then you may want to try viagra or cialis and if your erection lasts longer than 4 hours you may want to see a doctor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB2KOhEceNM All tourney long I wanted to here Gus Johnson at his best, and what happened? I fell asleep. I learned a lot from this mistake though. Never again will I go to bed during another NCAA tourney game. I don’t care if I have to buy aderol from a unreliable drug dealer or even snort a few lines of cocaine. I will never miss a NCAA tourney game for as long as I live outside a senior citizen home. I mean lets face it, at that point in life that’s out of my control and so are my bowel movements. Have a great rest of March Madness folks.
