Lockout 2011

Merry Christmas to everybody a day late. I hope everyone had a good Christmas and is looking forward to bringing in 2011, I know I am. The Colts got a big game today and I just got home from church where I talked to the big guy and I am pretty sure Indy will take care of business today. Now that the season is coming to a close and my fantasy season is all but over as I sit in third palce and can't make up any ground on first or second, it has me thinking about next season. I then remembered that there is a good chance there won't be a NFL or NBA season next year. The casual fan (females and most males) who don't follow the collective bargaining agreements aspect of the two leagues just assume that they won't allow a lockout to happen. I just shake my head at them because it has happened before, why can't it happen again? Both leagues are far from any type of agreement to go forward with next season. That is a fact, which would mean no Super Bowl for Indy. That would also mean no season tickets for my friends and I to go to Colts games, which means no tailgates, and no stories to talk about what happened at the tailgate the next day. Trust me there have been some stories to tell from this season. Nate, Kerr, SK, Reed, Joel, Josh you guys know what I am talking about. It's been a pretty "Ravishing" season.If both leagues are locked out next year I then wondered what I would do with my free time with no fantasy football. I would be lost, fantasy football consumes my life in the fall. The trash talking on the message board, changing my team name from week to week to embarrass my upcoming opponent. So what should I do with my free time? I suck at golf so I won't be playing any of that. I'm not going to join a WNBA fantasy league or watch more women's basketball. I would rather sit in a bathtub and slit my wrists then do that. I might travel the country and attend college basketball games that Gus Johnson calls http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB2KOhEceNM I would consider a college football fantasy league but there are way to many schools and we would have to limit them to a certain number of conferences. I would probably make a road trip to see the Gators play in the swamp for the first time ever. Every time I've seen them play it has been on a neutral site. (Jacksonville, Atlanta, New Orleans) I might make my return to coaching CYO football at Holy Spirit. If all else fails I guess I can pick up a foot fetish like Jets coach Rex Ryan has. What I do know is that I will be depressed no matter what. Fantasy football is my crack. I hope everyone has a good new years, but don't puke before midnight, it's trashy. God bless.

Patriots vs. Colts

Hello sports fans. What the hell is going on? I don’t know about you but I am about as excited as one can get for an NFL game. Unless you live in a barn with no power you should know that the Patriots and the Colts are playing Sunday night on NBC. I’ve been losing sleep at nights over this game. Brady is back in town with that cheater of a coach they got in the hoodie. I mean I feel like a 6 year old at Christmas before I received my ghostbuster proton pack and that little machine they used to trap the ghosts. My brother Jason and I did some serious work with those proton packs and ghost trapper thingy. “Don’t cross the streams Jason!” Slimer and the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man had nothing on us. Jesus I’m sorry folks I got a little carried away there with the Christmas gift, back to the game.

First off I would like to thank NBC for picking this game up on Sunday night. Why, you might ask? Well as a Colts season ticket holder this year we begin our tailgate at 8 a.m. every game day, Brian and Nate are the veterans of the group. Actually I take that back I don’t know that I should thank NBC now that I think about that. That gives our group that tailgates, 12 hours to take part in binge drinking activities in our spot at the Delaware and South street lot. This has bad news written all over it. Most people have asked me, “Are you seriously going to start at 8 a.m. ?” As my good friend Nate tells them, “If it were easy everyone would do it.” I feel like there should be a helicopter on stand by if any of us need life lined, maybe a cute nurse with an IV at the tailgate. We sit in the end zone in section 625. That is one hell of a walk up the stadium and I sure as hell won’t be in any shape to put forth a good effort in making that walk. I might have to leave the tailgate at like 4 just to get there by kickoff. On Sunday I will probably be able to smell the booze coming off everybody in our section considering they got half a day to drink before the game starts. There is a 99.8 percent chance I will be calling into work on Monday (cough, cough). I think I’m coming down with a fever and the only prescription is more beer and a Colts win! You can’t win them all if you don’t win the first 9. See below for some of the section 625 crew. Brian is wearing the football glasses, Megan is voting for world peace, and I could use a refill on my beer. What else is new.

Now let’s talk about the actual game plan the Colts need to imply. On defense there is a semi clone of Bob Sanders, since his career is over in Indy. He goes by the name Clint Session. Bill Polian is a genius. Year after year this guy just plugs in no name college players into a system and turns them into studs. Session is a beast and should have a pretty good game. One key matchup is if Matt Light plays for the Pats or not. Even if Light does play I still believe Freeney wins this matchup. Freeney is on a tear this season and Light won’t be close to 100%. The Colts have 22 sacks on the season. The Colts are starting 2 rookie defensive backs, thank god Moss is getting older and not as good as he use to be. I give the edge to the Pats still but I do like the athleticism those DB’s bring to the table. The Colts are only giving up 13.5 points a game. On the other hand the Pats give up only 14.4. I am going to go out on a limb and say those numbers are going to go up after this week for both teams. Now let’s talk Colts offense vs. the Pats D. Peyton Manning is averaging 315 yards passing a game. I mean it’s not out of the question that he could reach 5,000 yards passing this year. Insane! I don’t see why he can’t light up this Pats secondary. Merriweather is banged up and may not even play. The Colts have given up the fewest sacks allowed this season and the Pats have only gotten to the QB 15 times in 8 games. So Peyton should have all day to throw and use that play action. Dallas Clark is having a career year along with Reggie Wayne having another pro bowl year as usual. The Colts have struggled with the run game, but the past couple games Addai and Brown have shown signs of life. So we will see which run game shows up.

In closing sports fans, this game should be a dandy. Who wins? I don’t know for sure. I am predicting the Colts will win because of these facts. The Pats are 1-2 on the road this year. I mean they lost to the Jets and Mark Sanchez. Peyton Manning shines in prime time games and he’s a tad better than Mark Sanchez. Colts WIN! Go Horse! P.S. can anyone set an over/under on how many beers I drink in the 12 or so hours I will have at the tailgate?

"Where's Bob-O?"

Dear: Bob Sanders,

Hi Bob my name is Jeff McGuinness, an avid fan of yours. How’s your right knee doing? I am a concerned colts fan who is wondering on how much longer you plan on being injured? Don’t get upset with me after reading this letter, but where the hell are you? I understand that you currently are living in a forest, running around in a loin cloth and enjoying eating deer and any other wild animals you come across. I know you’re probably doing some charity work like donating blood to the red cross. I just wish it was your blood and not other peoples. The closest we have come to seeing you is by watching the movie Blade starring Wesley Snipes. I swear if Snipes grew his hair out they could be twins. It’s beginning to get cold outside so you can’t stay in the forest all winter no matter how bad ass you are. Everyone knows that in the winter you live at the colts complex and listen to ACDC while you sleep in your coffin. I am worried about you Bob.Please come back and start beheading fools like you have done in the past. I’m afraid if you don’t the colts might make a decision at the end of the season, which involves you no longer being a colt. Your pal, Jeff.

Okay I got all the fun and jokes out of the way, now it is time to get to business. Bob you need to get and stay healthy ASAP. The colts and the colts faithful are beginning to lose interest in you. We are tired of your injuries that keep you out for long periods of time. I’m also tired of the colts organization never really going into detail about their players and the injuries. Financially it does not make sense to keep Bob on the roster past this year if he can not resume playing at a high level and avoid injury. He is making around 6 million dollars a season while his replacement Melvin Bullitt is making less than 500 grand this season. If the colts release Bob at the end of the year they can save some salary cap money down the road and pursue free agents or negotiate new deals for players who have expiring contracts like Antoine Bethea, Gary Brackett, or Marlin Jackson. Some of the colts fair-weather fans who just love the fact that Bob Sandersis a colt will probably be highly upset when the day comes where Polian has to release Bob, but let me tell you that Polian knows what the hell he is doing. Melvin Bullitt is not Bob Sanders, but he does stay healthy and is a pretty good safety, especially for the little money he is being paid. The colts have held the opposing teams leading rusher to under 100 yards every game this season except for the wildcat night in Miami, which implies to me that Bob is not needed as much as he was in the past.

In closing I love the way Bob plays the game. I know he is in the forest swinging from tree to tree beating on his chest, enjoying life, but November 15th is lurking and the colts must punish the patriots and no one punishes opponents like Bob does. Bob can accomplish this mission if we get a brave enough colts fan to go around searching the forests for his whereabouts to hand him this letter I’ve wrote. The city of Indianapolis has a pretty high unemployment rate so I vote we find someone who isn’t working and sacrifice them to execute the mission to inform Bob that we are looking for him. I’m sick and tired of watching Wesley Snipes and the Blade movies. This might be the last year we have to enjoy watching Bob pummel opponents.