#1 vs. #2

Hello sports fans today is a 2 for 1 Thursday, just how my partner Nick Bradshaw likes his women. Two women for 1 dollar. I will say though, they are not the classiest women I’ve ever met. “Buzz your girlfriend, WOOF!” Well folks, I’m leaving for the dirty south later this evening. I am headed to Atlanta for the SEC title game, Alabama vs. Florida. For those of you who know me, you know I am a die hard Gator fan (see picture below). I’m making a sign for college gameday on Saturday that hopefully makes it on the tube. I haven’t exactly figured out which sign I am going to use, but all preliminary indications are in favor of “Tebow would’ve made O.J. confess” which is in reference to Orenthal James Simpson and his murder trial. I will be sure to take plenty of pictures and share stories with you guys next week of the events that will unfold. I am going to list a few possible scenarios that may or may not take place over the weekend, and debate the chances of them happening.

Myself decked out in gator gear, wearing my Albert gator head with matching orange and blue beads? 100% chance of happening. People might look at my 6’6” ass and wonder what the hell is wrong with me, but who the hell cares.

Witnessing a fist fight between crazy drunk bama fan vs. crazy drunk gator fan? 89%. I know your thinking well that should be 100% but the fact of the matter is I have to witness it, that’s why I went with 89%. I witnessed one between a Georgia fan vs. Gator fan last year in Jacksonville so I am keeping my fingers crossed that the streak continues.

Chances my college gameday sign gets on TV? I got to go with about a 65% chance. Reason being is because gameday begins at 10 a.m. I am staying an hour away from Atlanta, so I would need to get up about 7 a.m. to get there and parked around 8, and then find the set and hope to Tebow, I mean God that I will be there early enough.

Chances of seeing some girls tits? 78%. I know what you are thinking, that it is inevitable for a football game in the south where some of the people that will be there are not the brightest people in the world. Then you mix in large amounts of alcohol being consumed with adrenaline already sky high. Again I have to witness it, that’s why I went on a 78% chance. I can’t be at every tailgate.

Chances of seeing a drunken idiot get arrested? 94%. Listen up folks, it is the south, some of those people who will be there are still bitter about losing the civil war. I can see some redneck with his confederate flag hanging from his truck getting all pumped up on whiskey and making a few bad decisions. End of story.

Chances of me tailgating with randoms? 101%. I am going to the game by myself, with a six pack of tall boys. I figure by the time I get the 6 beers in me and run out, that some people will be 3 sheets to the wind by then, and will just hand me beer as I walk by. My friend Shawn Kelly and I did this last year in Jacksonville, FL. It is an experience everyone should try. You will meet some interesting people. All you do is walk from tailgate to tailgate and drunk people will yell at you or something, and then the ball is in your court. The ice has been broken, it is up to you to decide how you want to handle the situation.

Chances of seeing Michael Phelps with college co-eds? 37%. I know Phelps loves the ladies and his partying, but lets face the facts. He probably has swim practice and or a meet which would completley ruin any chances of seeing him. I did give him a 37% because he knows it will be a party down there, and just think of all the free weed he could bum off people.

Chances of Urban Meyer kissing Tebow? 100%. Come on that is a given. No way in hell that doesn't happen. It is about as routine as a stripper giving someone a lap dance. Shes done it a thousand times and has practiced as well. Yea it seems sexy and provocative to you, but think about it. It is her job, she knows how to grind on a guy to get money out of him.

On that note Go Gators and God Bless!