"Dumbass"

Hello sports fans, Jeff Mac here on this glorious Friday. It’s almost 5 o’clock somewhere and that somewhere is here in Indy. It’s about time to get my drink on. I hope everyone else is in the same mood, I know they are in Bloomington with it being homecoming. Watch out for those $400.00 drinking tickets and community service, you minor consumers of booze. Don’t worry I am not mad at you, in fact I commend your efforts of breaking the law.
Well folks I got a bone to pick with the United States Postal Service. If you have any relatives that work for them I apologize in advance for putting them on blast. You may want to end your reading here if you may be offended. My birthday is November 7th (a Saturday for you alcoholics) and my girlfriend Brittany bought my present on e-bay and had it shipped to our apartment. What is the gift, you might ask? The gift is a signed sports illustrated cover of Tim Tebow, Brandon Spikes, and Percy Harvin. These guys are All-American football players from The Florida Gator Nation, if you live under a rock and didn’t know that. Quite possibly the best birthday gift I have received since I got a Colts touchdown monkey when I was 16, no joke. The package arrived earlier this week in an envelope that in big black bold letters on both sides said “DO NOT BEND.” Well folks my mail box is probably 4 inches by 4 inches. The mail carrier who from here on out we will refer to as “dumbass” decides to go ahead and bend the package so it will fit in the mailbox. My first thought was what the hell is this guy thinking? Can “dumbass” read? If “dumbass” can read why the hell did he give a half ass effort while on the clock and just shove my magazine in the mailbox, when he could have left it with someone at the front desk like Fed Ex and UPS do. My next thought was if he couldn’t read how the hell did the USPS hire him and how the hell does he do his job? Well obviously “dumbass” can read because he or she put it in the right mailbox. So it just leaves me with the thought that “dumbass” is just flat out lazy and did not feel like taking an extra five seconds out of his day to take care of peoples belongings and leave it at the front office.

My next expedition led me to the post office that delivered it to the apartment. The post office is located at 456 N. Meridian St. The phone number is 317-464-6825, just in case you want to throw in your own 2 cents. I arrived on Tuesday afternoon around 4 p.m. I had brought with me the magazine, and the package it came in that again said DO NOT BEND on both sides. I told this postal worker, who looked like the dad of Eddie Murphy off the “Nutty Professor” that I needed to speak with a supervisor about an issue with my package. He told me to hold on just one minute. Well that one minute turned into about 7 and once I tell you about the supervisor I spoke with you will understand why. She wasn’t exactly the skinniest lady in the world, and by that yes I mean she was fat. Her shirt about blinded me because of all the bright colors and goofy designs. I manned up though and stayed focus on the task at hand. I showed her the magazine and the slight crease in it. I then showed her the bent package that says DO NOT BEND all over the damn thing. I then asked her how she will compensate me for the damages. She proclaims that since it wasn’t insured they cannot refund anything. At this point it took every ounce of energy I had to not reach over that desk and punch her fat ass. Insurance wasn’t offered on the purchase!!! How the hell can my girlfriend purchase the insurance if it isn’t offered? For those of you who think this visit is now over it wasn’t.
I did my homework before I went into that post office. I had reviews of previous visits people had posted online about their experiences with this exact post office.
By al.badawi - Dec 19, 2008‎
The worst USPS office I have ever seen....................................

By Blake - Jul 30, 2008‎
Very rude service and unwilling to help. Have been given the run around for three days now and still no help. They speak in a very condescending manner placing blame on anyone but themselves. Very unfortunate.‎
So after the fat ass lady told me there was nothing she could do, I went on a bit of a rant. I asked her how the hell does that person remain an employee? Do you require your employees to be able to read? Why was shipping and handling $10.00? When it looks like a pack of wolves delivered it to my apartment. Fat ass lady told me she would pass my concerns on to the mail carriers supervisor. Really?? Gee thanks because that really makes me fell all better. I could care less if little Susie receives her Christmas gift in two pieces, because that won’t affect me. I then proceeded to pull up the reviews on my phone and show them to her. I put them in front of her face and she began to put her hand over my phone to block them from her face. It was hysterical. I felt like I was Raphael Sanchez doing a call 6 investigative report. Before I left that shithole post office I stood there and pretty much continued to talk down about the post office while I snapped a photo of this broad on my phone. I was going to post the photo on here but my partner, Nick Bradshaw who is our legal expert, says she could sue me. Good luck honey I don't have much to give you. She looked like Chris Farley with a wig. If you ever want to see her, find me and I will show you on my phone.

In closing folks, do not ship anything with the Postal Service. That is why we have Fed Ex and UPS. I feel that in this visit I got a lot of my anger off my chest. I do know that Halloween is right around the corner and I live pretty close to that post office. I would hate to see that place get toilet papered or maybe a few eggs tossed on it. I’m not saying that I am going to be the one to carry out these actions. But I’m also not saying that I won’t. Take care of yourselves sports fans. Have a great football weekend full of booze.